We have changed the theme of our page to correspond with the season!

"Signs You've Eaten Too Much" ,

or jump right to Christopher Columbus Pick-Up Lines

As presented on the 11/26/93 broadcast of LATE SHOW with DAVID LETTERMAN

10. Hundreds of volunteers have started to stack sandbags around you.

9. Doctor tells you your weight would be perfect for a man 17 feet tall.

8. You are responsible for a slight but measurable shift in the earth's axis.

7. Right this minute you're laughing up pie on the carpet.

6. You decide to take a little nap and wake up in mid-July.

5. World's fattest man sends you a telegram, warning you to "back off!"

4. CBS tells you to lose weight or else.

3. Getting off your couch requires help from the fire department.

2. Every escalator you step on immediately grinds to a halt.

1. You're sweatin' gravy.

"Christopher Columbus Pick-Up Lines"

As presented on the 10/10/95 broadcast of LATE SHOW with DAVID LETTERMAN

10. "Come to this continent often?"

9. "How 'bout you and me taking a voyage to Motel-6?"

8. "Kiss me, I'm salty!"

7. "If all three of you come home with me, I'll name my ships after you"

6. "Please, I've been at sea for five months, I beg you!"

5. "Can you help me navigate my way around that Wonderbra?"

4. "How many gold doubloons for a lap dance?"

3. "That's not a compass in my pocket, I'm just glad to see you"

2. "Babe ahoy!"

1. "I've got a sea monster in my pants!"

Jump back to the top

To go back to the Thanksgiving hompage.

Mail comments to : time@rnet.com….

Made 11-17-96, changed 11-27-96